Dealing with the Reluctant Trainee

Most trainers will empathise with Monica Murphy’s refreshingly honest look at how she managed her group of unmotivated trainees

It is said that the difference between teaching and training is that with training, the learners actually want to be present. That is not always the case. I have more than once had the challenge of trying to deliver a course to a group of people who clearly did not want to be there.

Teacher or Trainer?

One of my lecturers in college used to chant “What you think about and what you pay attention to are all that matters.� If you think about it for a second, it makes perfect sense. You might be in conversation with someone but not hear anything they say to you. Your attention is somewhere else. Attention is, undoubtedly, a much sought after resource by just about everyone.

The course was one of the soft skill variety – Communication Skills to be exact; and I had not worked with this group before. Obviously, I had nothing new to tell them about the impact of non-verbal communication. Arriving late, slouching in their seats, checking their watches and mobile phones every few minutes, constantly talking to the person next to them, a zero tolerance to participation in the course – you all know these signs; and if you don’t, you at least know how to exhibit them from your schooldays. So I did feel a bit like a teacher instead of a trainer. I wanted to stare at the people talking until they stopped, force them to share the joke, or best of all, shout their surname and send them to the MD for a further punishment. Alas, we are all adults now, so I had to take another approach.

Difficult Decisions

If a normal day’s training is tiring, a day’s training with a fractious audience is utterly exhausting. Essentially, you have twice the amount of work to do. You have to deal with the reluctance to learn that is going on behind the scenes, as well as try to get through the material. I had to decide where to put my own attention.

About an hour into the course, right in the middle of introducing Schramm’s model of communication, I decided to ditch the material… Note that while I abandoned the material I had prepared; I had not abandoned the topic itself.

Training has also been likened to acting. You have to read all the signals you are getting and decide how to proceed – I think it’s a faulty comparison though, because actors know exactly what they are going to say and do next. Not so for trainers. “Thinking on your feet� seems like an inadequate turn of phrase to describe this process of nano-second decision making. The teacher in me decided that these
folks were going to learn something about communication today – perhaps even without realising it.

The Fog Lifts

That morning, I had tried to engage the class by asking them general questions about the importance of communication, querying them on why they had chosen to come along today and what they wished to get out of the day. Later, when I realised the extent of the  non-attention problem, I had no choice but to repeat this exercise but this time I had to zone in on a nameplate. He responded (while playing with the blinds): “My manager told me to come.â€�

Eureka! I had my answer. I try to feign surprise by his response, but in truth, am not at all. Certainly, I can understand their grievance with the course and everything to do with it. As a trainer, it’s critical not to take this personally. If you do, you will make the mistake of powering on with the material; ignoring the fact that nobody wants to be there and you will come across as supremely standoffish and defeatist. You will find yourself just trying to get through the course and get out of there.

Empathy not Apology

I expressed empathy for their situation and fought against apologising to them for being there. Apologising to the participants for your presence in this case is not only unnecessary; it also serves to discredit you. If you don’t believe that you should be there, how do you expect your audience to? Nonetheless, it’s classic pitfall. I had been requested by the Management to deliver the course. I stayed in touch with them to ensure the deliverables were clearly defined and agreed with. They assured me that the participants had been informed and would be present. As I learned most slowly and painfully today though, nothing was mentioned to the participants until they received an email sparse in detail and devoid of objectives until two days before the course.

I managed to build up enough rapport with the group to convince them to return after lunch – one that I used to think through my plan for the next part of the day. I started by suggesting that while it was clear that they were not happy with the way in which the training was imposed on them, they may as well take the experience and learn from it. I put it to them that we use the current situation as a case in point for our underlying communications lesson. They agreed haplessly, and I tried to map out the situation on the flipchart and asked for their help in agreeing what could have been done differently.

It was around this time that they started showing some interest. This was their situation, their department, their communication problem on the chart – and I learned, as one inevitably will from an unrehearsed performance, that this was, in fact, a better way to facilitate a course in Communication. They were now engaged and involved in the course, their eyes were open and alert, and there was
almost an excitement in the air as we examined the paths of communication or lack thereof. It had taken almost three and a half hours to get it but I finally had this group’s most coveted attention.

Attention Maintenance

After having posed the question about who could have done what to avoid the initial negativity, I was a little alarmed at the number of suggestions that came back in chorus. They had so much to offer that I had to flip the chart many times!

In receiving their recommendations, an interesting and terrifically human feature shone through: Nobody had suggested what they personally might have done differently to avoid the situation we found ourselves in this morning. However, I could not be so insensitive as to point that out. Instead, I shimmied around it suggesting what I might have done if my manager emailed me instructing that I
attend a training course.

What my participants had overlooked was that they had a part to play in the great communications game. They were fully entitled to ask questions about this planned course but had not, preferring instead to assume that it was just another of their manager’s infinite endeavours to complicate their employees’ lives.

Have Fun – Talk about Sport

Let me point out that for me, talking about sport is so far removed from fun that I find the whole situation surreal and wonder if I might have a split personality. But bear with me. I once had to deliver a presentation on the offside rule in soccer as part of a job interview. I hate football, but it is often that you will find me catching the highlights of  the big matches and practising pronouncing the names of the scorers. Yes, it’s a tiny bit deceitful, I know, but you have no idea how many times it has come to my aid in maledominated training rooms. I had cause to call on my skin deep sporting knowledge today when we broke up the afternoon with a short quiz.

We continued on into the late afternoon in an atmosphere more conducive to learning. I had no use for most of the original handouts, but still drew on some original case studies and communication role-plays, always emphasising the importance of clear communication – aural, written and spoken. We didn’t get through all of the proposed material but the replacement for which was much more
challenging and satisfying. Many of them cited that they felt “better equipped to communicate with management and colleaguesâ€� in their evaluation forms.

The Aftermath

This case resulted in a relatively happy ending – between the group and me at least. Although a crisis was averted and we did make some headway in the skill of communication, there was some outstanding straight talking to be directed towards the manager of the group. Clearly, there were communication problems between them. After having worked so hard with them, I felt compelled to get his view on the situation.

As it happened, he was very appreciative of the right type of training, agreeing to visit or call each of the participants to get their perspective on training. Now, if he had only done that in the first place…

Lessons to be Learned

• Send information on the course to the Manager/Organiser to distribute to participants in advance
• Have a plan for handling a difficult group of people for all your deliveries
• Don’t be tempted to put your “Teacher� hat on
• Don’t take it personally
• Involve the audience
• Do something else: change direction, investigate the problem
• Be sensitive when forming your opinions
• Emphathise or share a similar experience with a disgruntled audience
• Don’t apologise if the situation is out of your control
• Try to incorporate some fun

Monica Murphy